Fathers of preborn children are typically dismissed from the conversation as though the life of their child is of no concern or consequence to them. Culture argues that pregnancy is a woman’s issue and therefore none of the father’s business.
To would-be fathers and grandfathers, know that you have the power to give and receive life, a gift that will stretch your heart and make you more of a man than anything else this world can offer, outside your relationship with God.
The True Mark of a Man: Love
The women you love need men who are strong and confident enough to embrace the beauty and messiness of life, no matter the circumstances. That’s real strength—and real love.
—Jennie Bradley, President, March for Life
To the new father, you may assume that “the woman you love” includes the romantic partner for whom you have strong feelings, but God has a broader and deeper definition of love.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
—1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)
Whether your child is a result of a short-term relationship, someone you’ve known for a while, or the woman you promised to cherish until you die, you have the greatest power imaginable: the power of love.
Five Ways Fathers Can Help in an Unexpected Pregnancy
Life is full of messy circumstances, so we are speaking to every man, especially those who assume they’ll never welcome an unexpected son or daughter. The following suggestions will build strength for you and your family so you can become the man God intended you to be—a man that reflects the love of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Know the Facts
Don’t let anyone tell you that the way to love the women in your lives is to support abortion—let alone push them towards abortion when things look tough.
People are lying to you when they say that your education or economic security hinges on the right to kill your child in the womb. That’s not what you, nor what the women you love, need. It will not make you happy.
—Jennie Bradley
Studies have shown that well over 60% of mothers who aborted felt tremendous pressure from other people. Of those mothers who reported such pressure, 95% cited the father as the source. The result is a range of emotional and mental health challenges, ranging from sadness to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or even suicide.
Who are we to choose death on behalf of someone else?
—Bethany Hamilton, Soul Surfer, Christian mom, pro-life advocate
The need to embrace life is just as important for the biological father. Studies have shown that most post-abortive fathers experience traumatic grief at the loss of their child, including men who demanded the procedure.
Be Encouraging
Be ready to be the voice telling them that they are strong enough.
—Jennie Bradley
Men, you have immeasurable power to build up the daughters and grown women in your life so they can navigate through challenges.
Encouraging your children through each stage as they grow will help them build confidence to face every kind of adversity. By the time they’re an adult, they’ll be able to navigate adult-sized trials, such as an unexpected pregnancy.
I hope that you here today can raise up a generation of young men who can come alongside and do the right thing to serve that woman in the way that she needs. We need strong men.
—Bethany Hamilton
Men, you also have the ability to build up or tear down the woman you love. Even if no one has encouraged her before, you can be the one who shows her what she’s capable of.
You can easily recognize her natural strengths so she realizes how she can succeed. These are the strengths she will draw from to silence doubts and persevere.
Know the Truth
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
—Psalm 127:3-5 (NKJV)
The word heritage in the original Hebrew means inheritance; your children truly are a gift from God. They are not a trial nor a hindrance, but rather a reward and a vessel of a man’s strength.
God’s timing is always perfect, even when we can’t see the bigger picture. Nothing surprises God, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Your child is a gift from Him that you have yet to unwrap. He has a plan for your little one, and one day you will see why they had to be born here and now.
Be Humble
Get to know the resources available . . . Know who they can call—or who you can call for them—to get medical care, parenting classes, diapers, wipes, baby clothes.
—Jennie Bradley
Our society says that strength doesn’t need help. Fathers, that’s not strength; that’s pride.
True strength means being wise enough to recognize that we don’t know everything and being humble enough to ask for help. Ask other fathers, find a local Clinic, or reach out to us at PreBorn!.
Be Present
An unexpected pregnancy comes with a lot of uncertainty for parents, grandparents, and others in the family. In times like this, your mere presence reassures the mother and other family members that they are not walking through this alone.
Remember that prayers from a sincere heart are powerful, especially the prayers of a man over his household. Pray for yourself, the mother, and your child, and share with the mother when you do so.
Conclusion
[Parenthood will] make you tougher—and happier—and more fulfilled than you ever imagined possible. It will stretch you. Your heart will grow and grow and grow, no matter the circumstances.
— Jennie Bradley
Embracing fatherhood is more than navigating challenges; it is about celebrating the miracle of life and the incredible potential that comes with it. But like love itself, your capacity to support her and your child is endless.
No matter how it starts, fatherhood is a gift filled with strength and love. Don’t buy into the lies that your mini-me will deprive you of your future and rob you of the best life has to offer. Your child is your future and your joy.
The love you give and receive will enrich your life in ways you never thought possible, transforming you into the man God knows you can be. Seize this moment not by seeking a way out but with courage and joy, knowing that God has a unique plan for you and your family.
FAQ
How does abortion impact fathers?
Men experience significant emotional strain following an abortion, including feelings of grief, guilt, and regret, which can persist long after the event.
Why should fathers be involved during an unexpected pregnancy?
Fathers are integral to providing emotional support, encouragement, and practical help. Their involvement can strengthen relationships, foster resilience in women, and lead to better mental health outcomes for both parents and the child.
How can fathers support the mother during an unexpected pregnancy?
- Understand the impact of abortion on both mothers and fathers.
- Encourage little girls and grown women to help them see the strength within themselves.
- Recognize that a preborn baby is life and a gift from God that you have to unwrap.
- Seek help and resources for parenting, medical care, and support services.
- Provide emotional support and reassurance through your physical presence and prayers.
